Thursday, December 31, 2009

My Top 5 Internet things that made me cry laugh in 2009 hurts

Oh the Internet. Funtimes. Thank you to Tom, Tal and Matt for sharing these funnies with me

Top 5 Internet things that made me cry laugh in 2009

5. Dave goes to the Dentist

4. Pug Pushes Stroller
 The name doesn't lie. Animals doing human things = win.

3. Keyboard Cat
Much the same ideas as pug and stroller. Internet sensation, but I still love the original.

2.  Butter Boy

Tom and Matt made this their own, but it's still one of the funniest thing of the year that still makes me cry laugh every time.

1. Attack Attack
As Tal says - Crabcore.

My Top 5 Movies that Maddy Almost Walked out of in 2009 Hurts

I say almost walked out of because I have actually never walked out of a movie. I am much too passive aggressive and would rather suffer in silence until the credits roll, then bitch about the film very loudly as I go past the people waiting to see it. Yes I am that person.

To be honest not many movies floated my cinematic boat this year. Loved Where the Wild Things Are, Genova, Inglorius Basterds. Away We Go was sweet and The Boys are Back had me blubbering within the first 5 minutes which I take as a win because at least it made me feel something other than knuckle-cracking boredom. But I saw a lot of movies this year and unfortunately enjoyed very few. I’m not trying to be difficult. I wanted to enjoy them ever so much. Matt thinks that’s the problem – I expect too much so am always disappointed and then judge more harshly. Luckily thanks to his working at a cinema, I didn’t waste any of my moolah on said crappy films.

So here we go Top 5 movies Maddy almost walked out of in 2009

5. Let the Right One In

This has less to do with it being a bad movie and more to do with me being a little bitch. It was actually kind of cool, but I had my hand over my eyes for a good part of it because I’m a total wuss when it comes to things of the scary nature. Matt had said it would be like "an arty Swedish Twilight." This was untrue. So very untrue. It was way less brooding-omg-i-want-to-eat-you-and-love-you-at-the-same-time-i'm-so-torn and much more freaky as all hell. So if you're into that kind of thing, go see it.

4. (500) Days of Summer
I saw what this movie was trying to do. I appreciated what this movie was trying to do. But god I didn't buy it. It wanted to be Annie Hall with prettier people and text messaging but it had no soul. I didn't like any of the characters and I found the little attempts at interesting filmmaking (the musical sequence and the black and white bit) completely forced. With it being billed as the Indie rom-com of the year, I kinda of knew I would be let down. I was just surprised at how completely and utterly disappointed I was. Also is it just me or does Miss Indie aka Zoey Deschanel only have one facial expression - the I'm-so-quirky-but-you-could-never-guess-what-I'm-thinking-because-it's-very-deep-but-also-random glazed stare. She is ever so beautiful though, I'll give her that.

3. Sherlock Holmes
Gah. Saw this on the weekend and it was downright boooooring. Another one I was looking forward to because Robert Downie Jnr is my old guy boyfriend (Matt and I have allowed each other one old person and one young person to sleep with guilt free. RDJ is my old guy one and John Krasinski is my young one, fyi) and also Guy Ritchie seemed like he would be perfect for this film. But it wasn't gritty, edgy, funny or remotely interesting. It really dragged and every plot turn was obvious and yet ridiculous at the same time. Also the costuming was so beige and unflattering. If you can make Rachel McAdams look frumpy then something has gone seriously awry. So many great things could have be done with the aesthetic but it just looked and felt like some cheap, cheesy period action film.

2. Whip It
This film, while slightly more entertaining than Sherlock Holmes, grabs the second top spot because of the wasted potential and half-baked ideas. I could rant for ever so long about the lame attempts at sub-cultural references, but I already have in an earlier post and no one needs to hear me wank on about that again. I said this at the time and I think it still holds true - if Drew Barrymore never again directs a film in her life, I am so ok with that.

1. Wolverine – X-Men Origins
So bad. So so so so bad. You know it's bad. I don't need to tell you. Everyone who liked this movie is to blame for the crappiness of Hollywood. They have no taste. They have no imagination. They are barely human. So bad!
Also - cartoon claws. 'nuff said.

I'll probably try and get a few more lists up before tomorrow night happens and they become completely irrelevant.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Top 5 Foods of 2009 hurts

This was a tough list to narrow down. Not only have I have eaten so many good foodstuffs this year, but I feel there has been some major maturation of my taste buds thus allowing me to appreciate some of the more flavoursome of foods that had otherwise repulsed me with their pungency. In other words I stopped being a fussy little bitch (to some extent anyway - don't even think about coming near me with those nasty mushrooms).

So here are the Top 5 Foods eaten by Maddy in 2009

5. Home-made Sushi.
Thanks to a nifty little gadget owned by the boyfriend's sister, there was a lot of sushi made this year. And it was good. None of this dry, minimal filling, falling apart shit. I'm talking perfectly sticky teriyaki chicken and avocado sushi dipped in sweet soy sauce and japanese mayonaise. Sushi win.

4. Fetta
Fetta is one in the category of foods-I-didn't-eat-before-this-year and therefore earns bonus points for so completely winning me over. I put it on pizzas, in pastas, on wraps, on toast with bacon and egg - you name it, I put fetta on it. It was easily the cheese of the year and let me tell you I wasn't sure anything would knock last year's winner Haloumi from the top spot. While I appreciate all types of fetta, special mention must be given to Danish Fetta for being both extremely cheap and extremely creamy.

3. Duck in Special Sauce
There is a little place in Fortitude Valley that has won the hearts and stomachs of many many Asian food loving humans. And I believe much of its success is thanks to one outstanding dish. I am of course speaking of Asian Fusion on Wickham Street and the dish is the spectacularly saucy Duck in Special Sauce. The name doesn't lie - this sauce is special. Thicker and richer than oyster or soy and less sickly than sweet and sour, it's tastiness defies logic. Add to that some crispy deep fried duck and you can see why this hole in the wall restaurant packs out every Saturday night.

2. Liz Hickey's Apple Cake
This was a tough decision. It really was. Apple Cake vs Yoghurt Cake. There could only be one winner. They both have their own strengths. Yoghurt Cake has icing so creamy and rich that it leaves me a little weak just thinking about it. But it was Apple Cake's overall flavour (love the hint of coconut), it's texture (light and fluffy mixed with the juicy apple bits) and it's ability to go so well with custard that ultimately secured it's place as the second best food eaten by Maddy in 2009 and the only dessert on the list. It's a mystery how the Talented Mrs Hickey makes this delight but I hope she doesn't stop.

but the winner is...

1. Avocado
A most unexpected winner considering I would not touch it's mushy green flesh before February this year.  I came around, slowly but surely, and am now officially obsessed. Is there anything better than sticking a knife into the ripe outer shell of an avocado (love the satisfying ripping feeling), cracking it open and seeing perfectly creamy green flesh ready for the eating? No. There is not. While I ate him many ways, I found avocados tasted best on fresh sour dough bread with salt, pepper and a squeez of lemon juice. Simplicity wins the day, folks. Avocado is the best food I have eaten in 2009.

Next list...Top 5 Movies Maddy Considered Walking Out of in 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

My Lists Hurts

The end of the year, end of the decade is fast approaching, so I thought I would organise my yearly best of lists. Life feels more tangible when you can condense it down into top 5s, am I right?

List the first is ...Top 5 Live Performance Seen by Maddy in 2009

5. La Roux at Pukkelpop in Belgium
4. The Hives at Sunset Sounds
3. Why? at the Troubador
2. The Kills at the Zoo

and the winner is...

1. Jamie Lidell at Tilburg, Netherlands

This was a tough list to narrow down as I saw a lot of awesome bands this year and went to several kick arse festivals. Honourable mentions go to Animal Collective, Philly Jays, The Klaxons, Franz Ferdinand and Junior Boys.

Next list will be...Top 5 Foods Maddy Discovered in 2009. Get excited about that one. I don't want tovgive too much away but fetta may feature strongly.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

My brain hurts, like really hurts

My head has shat itself.

I think I am dying.

This is lame.

Friday, December 4, 2009

My Waxing Hurts

There is a Too Much Information Warning on this post. If you are related to me, don't read this.

So - going to the beach this weekend, obviously needed a light wax before donning bikini. Decided to try out this new place down the road from me.

After being kept waiting for 20 mins my waxer finally swoops into waiting room with 5 year old son in tow. Apparently son had been coughing and vomiting at Kindy so he had to be picked up. Fair enough. Kid is sick. Okay excuse. She ushers me into a white room with a bed. It is quite serene, there is rainforest music playing. I lie on bed and think it might not be all that bad afterall.

THEN waxer comes into room WITH HER SON. He is CRYING and whinging and generally yelling about how he wants to go home. She puts him on a seat right next to my head (oh my god what if he vomits again!) and then lifts up my skirt and starts yanking my underwear this way and that. I lie there, frozen in horror as I realise there is a strange sick child watching my nether regions get waxed. I'm not sure who is going to be more scarred by the experience - me or him. Though he did seem quite fascinated by the whole thing because he shut up when she started tearing the wax off my dainty skin. I bet he enjoyed watching my pain, the sick bastard.

And if that wasn't enough, about half way through the first leg my waxer gets a phone call. She says "Oh that will be my broker" as if it's completely acceptable to take a call during a waxing as long as it's her broker. She gets the phone and starts yabbering away, now waxing me one-handed. It's disconcerting having hot wax slapped on you at the best of times and particularly when the person doing the slapping is only using one hand and half a brain.

In the end it only cost $20 and I kept all my important bits, so I guess the only real damage is mental.

Traumatic traumatic experience.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My absence hurts

It has been awhile since I have posted on this little blog. It's been pushed to the back left corner of my life since it's big sister i like your hat was born a couple of weeks ago. Go there. Be amazed.

Also struggling to get used to full time work and the associated depression that comes with working nights, but I will spare you the details.

I did however get sent a shoebox filled with homegrown tomatos from a listener. They were sitting in the post for 3 days and had gone mouldy. Yuck.
I also got sent some more scartchies and have now won a total of $13. Woot.

Still doing fortnightly new music radio show on JACradio, though am almost certain that no one listens. I don't even listen so I can't expect anyone else to.

Ticky-Tak is going well. We're hoping to get as much song writing done in December as possible.

things things things.