Thursday, December 31, 2009

My Top 5 Internet things that made me cry laugh in 2009 hurts

Oh the Internet. Funtimes. Thank you to Tom, Tal and Matt for sharing these funnies with me

Top 5 Internet things that made me cry laugh in 2009

5. Dave goes to the Dentist

4. Pug Pushes Stroller
 The name doesn't lie. Animals doing human things = win.

3. Keyboard Cat
Much the same ideas as pug and stroller. Internet sensation, but I still love the original.

2.  Butter Boy

Tom and Matt made this their own, but it's still one of the funniest thing of the year that still makes me cry laugh every time.

1. Attack Attack
As Tal says - Crabcore.

My Top 5 Movies that Maddy Almost Walked out of in 2009 Hurts

I say almost walked out of because I have actually never walked out of a movie. I am much too passive aggressive and would rather suffer in silence until the credits roll, then bitch about the film very loudly as I go past the people waiting to see it. Yes I am that person.

To be honest not many movies floated my cinematic boat this year. Loved Where the Wild Things Are, Genova, Inglorius Basterds. Away We Go was sweet and The Boys are Back had me blubbering within the first 5 minutes which I take as a win because at least it made me feel something other than knuckle-cracking boredom. But I saw a lot of movies this year and unfortunately enjoyed very few. I’m not trying to be difficult. I wanted to enjoy them ever so much. Matt thinks that’s the problem – I expect too much so am always disappointed and then judge more harshly. Luckily thanks to his working at a cinema, I didn’t waste any of my moolah on said crappy films.

So here we go Top 5 movies Maddy almost walked out of in 2009

5. Let the Right One In

This has less to do with it being a bad movie and more to do with me being a little bitch. It was actually kind of cool, but I had my hand over my eyes for a good part of it because I’m a total wuss when it comes to things of the scary nature. Matt had said it would be like "an arty Swedish Twilight." This was untrue. So very untrue. It was way less brooding-omg-i-want-to-eat-you-and-love-you-at-the-same-time-i'm-so-torn and much more freaky as all hell. So if you're into that kind of thing, go see it.

4. (500) Days of Summer
I saw what this movie was trying to do. I appreciated what this movie was trying to do. But god I didn't buy it. It wanted to be Annie Hall with prettier people and text messaging but it had no soul. I didn't like any of the characters and I found the little attempts at interesting filmmaking (the musical sequence and the black and white bit) completely forced. With it being billed as the Indie rom-com of the year, I kinda of knew I would be let down. I was just surprised at how completely and utterly disappointed I was. Also is it just me or does Miss Indie aka Zoey Deschanel only have one facial expression - the I'm-so-quirky-but-you-could-never-guess-what-I'm-thinking-because-it's-very-deep-but-also-random glazed stare. She is ever so beautiful though, I'll give her that.

3. Sherlock Holmes
Gah. Saw this on the weekend and it was downright boooooring. Another one I was looking forward to because Robert Downie Jnr is my old guy boyfriend (Matt and I have allowed each other one old person and one young person to sleep with guilt free. RDJ is my old guy one and John Krasinski is my young one, fyi) and also Guy Ritchie seemed like he would be perfect for this film. But it wasn't gritty, edgy, funny or remotely interesting. It really dragged and every plot turn was obvious and yet ridiculous at the same time. Also the costuming was so beige and unflattering. If you can make Rachel McAdams look frumpy then something has gone seriously awry. So many great things could have be done with the aesthetic but it just looked and felt like some cheap, cheesy period action film.

2. Whip It
This film, while slightly more entertaining than Sherlock Holmes, grabs the second top spot because of the wasted potential and half-baked ideas. I could rant for ever so long about the lame attempts at sub-cultural references, but I already have in an earlier post and no one needs to hear me wank on about that again. I said this at the time and I think it still holds true - if Drew Barrymore never again directs a film in her life, I am so ok with that.

1. Wolverine – X-Men Origins
So bad. So so so so bad. You know it's bad. I don't need to tell you. Everyone who liked this movie is to blame for the crappiness of Hollywood. They have no taste. They have no imagination. They are barely human. So bad!
Also - cartoon claws. 'nuff said.

I'll probably try and get a few more lists up before tomorrow night happens and they become completely irrelevant.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Top 5 Foods of 2009 hurts

This was a tough list to narrow down. Not only have I have eaten so many good foodstuffs this year, but I feel there has been some major maturation of my taste buds thus allowing me to appreciate some of the more flavoursome of foods that had otherwise repulsed me with their pungency. In other words I stopped being a fussy little bitch (to some extent anyway - don't even think about coming near me with those nasty mushrooms).

So here are the Top 5 Foods eaten by Maddy in 2009

5. Home-made Sushi.
Thanks to a nifty little gadget owned by the boyfriend's sister, there was a lot of sushi made this year. And it was good. None of this dry, minimal filling, falling apart shit. I'm talking perfectly sticky teriyaki chicken and avocado sushi dipped in sweet soy sauce and japanese mayonaise. Sushi win.

4. Fetta
Fetta is one in the category of foods-I-didn't-eat-before-this-year and therefore earns bonus points for so completely winning me over. I put it on pizzas, in pastas, on wraps, on toast with bacon and egg - you name it, I put fetta on it. It was easily the cheese of the year and let me tell you I wasn't sure anything would knock last year's winner Haloumi from the top spot. While I appreciate all types of fetta, special mention must be given to Danish Fetta for being both extremely cheap and extremely creamy.

3. Duck in Special Sauce
There is a little place in Fortitude Valley that has won the hearts and stomachs of many many Asian food loving humans. And I believe much of its success is thanks to one outstanding dish. I am of course speaking of Asian Fusion on Wickham Street and the dish is the spectacularly saucy Duck in Special Sauce. The name doesn't lie - this sauce is special. Thicker and richer than oyster or soy and less sickly than sweet and sour, it's tastiness defies logic. Add to that some crispy deep fried duck and you can see why this hole in the wall restaurant packs out every Saturday night.

2. Liz Hickey's Apple Cake
This was a tough decision. It really was. Apple Cake vs Yoghurt Cake. There could only be one winner. They both have their own strengths. Yoghurt Cake has icing so creamy and rich that it leaves me a little weak just thinking about it. But it was Apple Cake's overall flavour (love the hint of coconut), it's texture (light and fluffy mixed with the juicy apple bits) and it's ability to go so well with custard that ultimately secured it's place as the second best food eaten by Maddy in 2009 and the only dessert on the list. It's a mystery how the Talented Mrs Hickey makes this delight but I hope she doesn't stop.

but the winner is...

1. Avocado
A most unexpected winner considering I would not touch it's mushy green flesh before February this year.  I came around, slowly but surely, and am now officially obsessed. Is there anything better than sticking a knife into the ripe outer shell of an avocado (love the satisfying ripping feeling), cracking it open and seeing perfectly creamy green flesh ready for the eating? No. There is not. While I ate him many ways, I found avocados tasted best on fresh sour dough bread with salt, pepper and a squeez of lemon juice. Simplicity wins the day, folks. Avocado is the best food I have eaten in 2009.

Next list...Top 5 Movies Maddy Considered Walking Out of in 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

My Lists Hurts

The end of the year, end of the decade is fast approaching, so I thought I would organise my yearly best of lists. Life feels more tangible when you can condense it down into top 5s, am I right?

List the first is ...Top 5 Live Performance Seen by Maddy in 2009

5. La Roux at Pukkelpop in Belgium
4. The Hives at Sunset Sounds
3. Why? at the Troubador
2. The Kills at the Zoo

and the winner is...

1. Jamie Lidell at Tilburg, Netherlands

This was a tough list to narrow down as I saw a lot of awesome bands this year and went to several kick arse festivals. Honourable mentions go to Animal Collective, Philly Jays, The Klaxons, Franz Ferdinand and Junior Boys.

Next list will be...Top 5 Foods Maddy Discovered in 2009. Get excited about that one. I don't want tovgive too much away but fetta may feature strongly.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

My brain hurts, like really hurts

My head has shat itself.

I think I am dying.

This is lame.

Friday, December 4, 2009

My Waxing Hurts

There is a Too Much Information Warning on this post. If you are related to me, don't read this.

So - going to the beach this weekend, obviously needed a light wax before donning bikini. Decided to try out this new place down the road from me.

After being kept waiting for 20 mins my waxer finally swoops into waiting room with 5 year old son in tow. Apparently son had been coughing and vomiting at Kindy so he had to be picked up. Fair enough. Kid is sick. Okay excuse. She ushers me into a white room with a bed. It is quite serene, there is rainforest music playing. I lie on bed and think it might not be all that bad afterall.

THEN waxer comes into room WITH HER SON. He is CRYING and whinging and generally yelling about how he wants to go home. She puts him on a seat right next to my head (oh my god what if he vomits again!) and then lifts up my skirt and starts yanking my underwear this way and that. I lie there, frozen in horror as I realise there is a strange sick child watching my nether regions get waxed. I'm not sure who is going to be more scarred by the experience - me or him. Though he did seem quite fascinated by the whole thing because he shut up when she started tearing the wax off my dainty skin. I bet he enjoyed watching my pain, the sick bastard.

And if that wasn't enough, about half way through the first leg my waxer gets a phone call. She says "Oh that will be my broker" as if it's completely acceptable to take a call during a waxing as long as it's her broker. She gets the phone and starts yabbering away, now waxing me one-handed. It's disconcerting having hot wax slapped on you at the best of times and particularly when the person doing the slapping is only using one hand and half a brain.

In the end it only cost $20 and I kept all my important bits, so I guess the only real damage is mental.

Traumatic traumatic experience.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My absence hurts

It has been awhile since I have posted on this little blog. It's been pushed to the back left corner of my life since it's big sister i like your hat was born a couple of weeks ago. Go there. Be amazed.

Also struggling to get used to full time work and the associated depression that comes with working nights, but I will spare you the details.

I did however get sent a shoebox filled with homegrown tomatos from a listener. They were sitting in the post for 3 days and had gone mouldy. Yuck.
I also got sent some more scartchies and have now won a total of $13. Woot.

Still doing fortnightly new music radio show on JACradio, though am almost certain that no one listens. I don't even listen so I can't expect anyone else to.

Ticky-Tak is going well. We're hoping to get as much song writing done in December as possible.

things things things.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My youth hurts

I have always liked being young. Possibly because I've never known anything else. I was born young and will continue to be young for the next...mmm...6 years and 6 weeks (30 is old right?).

But every night between 8pm and midnight I continually feel guilty for being young. Apparently life in this 'modern' age just isn't worth living. I've missed out on music's golden age, I don't remember the days when celebrities were truly classy and now all the buildings around town are being redeveloped into awful tacky cold monstrosities.

And don't even get me started on how the Internet is killing the art of letter writing, face-to-face contact and pretty much everything else.

I have no manners, no respect, no appreciation for real culture, no soul.

I'm going to go crawl in a hole and wait until I'm 65 and I can truly appreciate what I've missed.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My complaining hurts

Ironically, the purpose of this post is to complain about complaining.

In fact it is monumentally hypocritical of me - who set up a blog for the sole purpose of complaining, but oh well deal with it. It's my blog i can do whatever I want. Stop reading if you have a problem. JEEZ.

SO, I thought I was a fairly accomplished complainer. But let me tell you there are people of the elderly persuasion out there who put me to absolute shame. Last week one woman called up at 10pm to complain about some female newsreader who was reading a story about the death of a young boy. The young boy's name was Miles and apparently said newsreader at one point in the story was foolish enough to say "Miles'S family" rather than "Miles' family"!!!


Well let me tell you, this caller was actually irate. She kept saying things like "honestly I can't see why we can't even get grammar right. What is the world coming to" and "there was absolutely no need for that extra s" as if the extra s actually cost her something. Sorry to waste your precious time be including an extra single letter.

Not only that, but we have a male news reader from 6.00pm onwards so this must have been at least FIVE HOURS earlier. She's been sitting at home stewing about this for FIVE HOURS before she couldn't take it anymore and felt the need to unleash her grammar related indignation on my innocent self.

Well OLD LADY - here's a news flash. Apostrophe 's' after a name is completely acceptable so shut the hell up. And even if it wasn't, don't go getting shitty at me for another person's mistake. And holy shit, a kid died and all you took away from that story was a perceived (incorrectly mind you) grammatical error.

You are a sad sad human.

Stay tuned for my theory that Old Personness is a life style choice, not a fact of life.

Monday, November 9, 2009

My pesto-induced bloatedness hurts

I am developing a theory that pesto is the Devil's food. It is delicious, yes. But the Devil is a temptress so would not condone an unpleasant tasting food. It is delicious but evil, as I always feel sickly after consuming.

At first I thought it was just that basil/cashew/pesto chunky dip stuff, and more specifically the fact that I would eat the majority of a tub in one sitting. But the more I think about it, the more I can trace numerous upset tum experiences to the consumption of various forms of pesto.

Is it the intense amounts of oil? Is it the nuts?

OR is it the Devil's malevolent presence amongst this condiment that is reacting so distastefully with my biological self?


Friday, November 6, 2009

My Camera hurts

Yesterday I welcomed a brand new baby Nikon D60 to the family.

She's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Now if I only I could work out what all those darn buttons mean.

Do you know what? Guess Who is a great game. It's fun to play the 'reinforcing cultural stereotypes' variation of the game where instead of asking about physical characteristics you say things like "Would your person like hip hop music?" or "Did your person finish high school?" This allows you to make harsh assumptions about the characters on the basis of class, gender and race. Fun for the whole family!

I am really good at this version of the game.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My Bjork Hurts

I love love love Bjork.

She is Lucas' Pawpaw Ointment to the chappy soul.

My sould is a bit chappy tonight so I will listen to Homogenic til I slumber.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My work times hurts

Funny things happen at work.

Last night a 65 year old psychic therapist brought two phone books to stand on so he was taller than me when he gave me a hug. He actually brought them from home and carried them to the studio in his man bag.

A strange listener told me she sent me a letter addressed to 'Miss Maddy'

One listener called up and sang opera to me twice in 5 minutes. Each time he said "Hey Maddy, listen to this" then burst into song then said "see you bye" and hung up.

There are some strange people out there.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My lack of inspiration hurts

Today I am minus inspiration and minus motivation.

I don't want to work, I don't want to run, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to lie on my bed and watch Twin Peaks.

You know when things seem way more difficult and complicated and painful than they actually are? Like right now the thought of getting off my bed and putting on my running shoes is just so beyond me.

The running itself I wouldn't have a problem with, but I can't bring myself to put on those freakin shoes.

Whinge whinge whinge.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

My tummy hurts

because I ate too much.

My life is so freakin difficult. No one understands me. I've got all these ailments and only this pitiful blog as my outlet.

I ate too much because I went to afternoon tea with my school friends. This is what happens now apparently. Amongst the cheesecake and awkward silences of people who used to be close and have nothing in common anymore, I discovered that one of said friends reads my lil blog here.

Thank god I didn't publish that bitchy post I wrote about her, eh? That's the thing about these 'web logs' (sometimes referred to as blogs I believe) - you never know who's reading.

But anyway, said friend launched somewhat of a gentle but poignant attack on self when I was giving my humble opinion on the film 'Whip It'. (read below as to what I thought of it, but in short it was a pile of total unrelenting craaaap). This attack stemmed from my use of the word 'codefied' when describing Drew Barrymore's character. She called me up on the fact that I wrote an irrate blog post on people using marketing lingo like "let's open a dialogue" (see below) and yet use much more offensive terms such as 'codefied' in general conversation.

Well Jenny - I apologise for my inconsistencies and apparent hypocricy. I'm sorry that 4 years of media studies has so addled my brain with wankiness that I can't tell what's acceptable in everyday speech and what should be kept for long winded academic articles titled "Now You're a Gay: Gender Identity and Sexuality in Queer Eye For the Straight Guy."

Sometimes these things just slip out, you know? They're greeted with the predictable eye rolling and exchanged glances. I know, I see them. But this is what the School of English, Media Studies and Art History has made me. I'm a monster.

Perhaps, Jenny, we should sit down with our problems and open a dialogue.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Head Hurts

Everybody get excited - this is officially my first drunk-blog.


Now I won't get carried away, I'm not on-the-floor wasted or anything. Yes, I am making more typos than usual but I am coherent enough to go back and fix them.

It's more my first tipsy-blog, but still something to be celebrated nonetheless.

My head hurts because the wine headache has already begun. This does not bode well.

But I totes deserved a (read: several) beverage because today I organised the first outdoor broadcast for JACradio. It went ok, despite some technical hiccups. What really shat me off was the guy organising the event that we were covering. It was some bullshit University organised marketing thing about student stress relief. Holy jesus it was so over organised - there were about a million emails, meetings, phone calls and other crap just to organise this tiny thing.

But it wasn't just that - this guy spoke in the most infuriating marketing lingo. Seriously, I would ask him a question and instead of giving me a yes or no answer he would say "Ok Maddy, I'll go get my program and my info sheet and I'll brief you on this. Then if you have any queries we can open up a dialogue and discuss potential solutions."



Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My Mixtape Hurts

Here have a mixtape.

Tracklist below. Download here.

1. Date With The Night – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2. Now We Can See – The Thermals
3. Serio – Lost Valentinos
4. Hold Music – Architecture In Helsinki
5. Happy Alone – Kings Of Leon
6. 15 Steps – Radiohead
7. Black Stacey – Saul Williams
8. Cassius – Foals
9. I Cut Like A Buffalo – The Dead Weather
10. Pull Up The People – M.I.A.
11. Last Night – The Strokes
12. P.Y.T. – Michael Jackson
13. Velvet (Gang Gang Dance Remix) – The Big Pink
14. Quicksand – La Roux
15. Cheer It On (Trey Told ‘Em Remix) – Tokyo Police Club
16. Smiling – The Beta Band
17. I Don’t Want To Party (Party) – Philadelphia Grand Jury

And don't say I never give you anything.

My arse hurts

Don't be disgusting.

I played squash. It hurts the old gluets you know.

I am such a bad loser, I throw my racquet and swear and just generally have a tanty. This is a fairly unattractive quality and considering I'm fairly shit at squash and therefore lose with relative consistency, I feel sorry for anyone stuck on that claustrophobic little court with me.

Here's a tip. Don't play competitive sport when you're hormonal. Oh the rage.

And now I can barely sit down. Boo.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Social Networking Hurts

Have wrestled with the demons of my conscience and come to a compromise. So as not to make things too personal, I will lampoon facebook fauxpas on a more general scale, with some specific examples thrown in.

Item the first.

Religious Status

One of my facebook friends has recently chanced their religious status from "very Christian" to "Christian all the way."

Firstly, why did she think it necessary to change from very Christian to Christian all the way? Was her point not clear enough? We get it! You're an uber-Christian, you forsake all others for that bearded guy in the dress. Obviously the religion element of her facebook profile was so important that she felt the need to keep it fresh.

I don't understand why any extra qualifier to "Christian" was required. I don't think Jesus actually cares what you put in your facebook profile (as long as it's not Muslim of course).

I got curious about Jesus' take on facebook, so I had a look around and found that he has no fewer than 500 facebook profiles. No wonder he can be everywhere at once. Or is that Santa?

I checked out Jesus Christ from Pittsburgh's profile and not even he lists himself as VERY Christian. In fact he just has a cheesy quote from some guy called Matthew.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

My How Mean is Too Mean (?) hurts

Question: Is it too mean to start posting a 'worst facebook' status of the day thing on this blog?

Is that what they (the almighty "THEY") call cyber-bullying?

It's not that I want to hate on people, but some people need to realise the kind of identity they are creating on such social networking sites. A shit identity. And that the world would be better off if they deleted their facebook/twitter/tumblr/fliker ET AL accounts immediately.

Hmmmm. I shall ponder on this.

My Talent is a Beautiful Thing hurts

Thank you Tom.

This made my day.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

My Maddy Newman-Entertainer Hurts

(This is a bit of an in-joke, so I apologise to anyone that is reading who doesn't get it (hey Liz Hickey and Tal).)

Guess whose favourite "hardest working actor in Brisbane" has re-posted a fuckload of videos onto facebook?

Check it out to see such comedic masterpieces as "6 Rules of dating" - a hilarious short film about the 6 rules to follow when out on a date. This is neither hilarious, nor barely even a short film. Also FYI, I have a sneaking suspicion the girl he is oggling throughout the "film" is a relation (sister?).


Friday, October 16, 2009

My Bogan Slang Hurts


Is there a more bogan term for getting drunk than "hitting the piss"?

Please comment with answers below.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

My Attack Attack! Hurts

This is the best/worst thing ever.

Dedicated to Attack Attack!'s biggest fan, Tal.

Make yourself watch to the very end. It's worth the pain. I promise

My Stop Motion Hurts


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My Shinedown hurts

These guys are at Soundwave.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My Indie Movies hurt

This is a response to this very thoughtful (if not a little 'I-majored-in-Media-Studies-hear-me-roar') post.

Excuse the wank.

I agree with much of what was said here - though my problem with the appropriation of Indie-ness doesn't align exactly with the authors.

My initial problem with the two movies in question was that they were not great films. In the case of Whip It, it was down right terrible. Everything about this film seemed an afterthought - characters were one dimensional and oh-so predictable, issues were dealt with on the surface only and conflict was messy and yet too-cleanly resolved.
Any potential this film had to challenge gender stereotypes was undermined by it's complete sanitisation of the all-female roller derby (ie. making sure that although the women were seemingly constructed as tough and independent, the audience was aware that they were either engaged/had children and all the positions of responsibility and power, ie. coaches and commentaters, were men).
This film's appropriation of Indie-ness is laughable and will be seen through by all but the 13 year olds (read: target audience) who will see and love it. It is so non-threatening and Hollywood that its use of Indie symbols cannot seriously offend me. Although it is careless and lazy in its use of subcultural codes, it is so obviously mainstream that I don't find it threatening or invasive. It has bigger problems. What offended me more was the over-written screenplay and the pitiful direction. Even for a debut, Drew - this was pretty bad.

(500) Days of Summer offended me more because it consistently bills itself as an indie film. It screams Indie. It beats you over the head with how freakin cool and alternative it is. Read Matt's post for more details because I can't be bothered listing it all again, but it's there in the music, the cinematography, the cast, the costumes, everything. But it was just so heavy handed and obvious that even someone within the subculture has to cringe. The director clearly spent too long jizzing themself over how cool this film would look and not enough time on creating likable characters or meaningful/belivable relationships.

My problem is complex because I haven't always identified with this subculture and was particularly resistant (if not aggressively opposed) to any overt signifiers. I saw them as alienating and downright try-hard. However, even now that I consider myself (*shudder*) one of them, I don't find references to obscure horror film directors or a Radiohead song playing in the background as inclusive. They don't instill me with a sense of belonging, nor does it make me appreciate the film on any greater level.

For me, Indie-ness (the aesthetic, the soundtrack, everything) does not automatically give a film worth. In fact used thoughtlessly, it seriously detracts from my enjoyment.

I would have loved Juno without the codefied references because it was a beautiful story. That's what a film should be primarily occupied with- story telling.

Ok, I clearly ran out of steam towards the end there as it is really late and I am drowning in my various jobs. Maybe I'll clear it up more tomorrow when my brain is not made of porridge.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

My eye hurts

Actually Matt's eye hurts, both of mine are fine. He has some weird growth and is currently lying next to me on the couch with a warm washer over his eye and somehow listening to The Simpsons and his iPod at the same time. Also it is worrying how much of this episode of the Simpsons he knows without even seeing any of it.

Cold rainy day in Brisbanal - what to do? Think I might see Whip It - I do love Ellen Page although am wary of Drew Barrymore's directorial debut.

Start my new job at Old Person Radio on Monday. Woot. Also doing an hour live on JACradio on Tuesday to launch Michael Jackson's new single. Busy busy

Peace out.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

My Ticky-Tak hurts

Woot. Ticky-Tak myspace actually has music on it.

Check it out.

In other news - I am hungover and my feet hurt from the retardly high shoes I was wearing last night.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My 16 hours of work hurts

You know who I hate??

People who complain aboout how much they have to work. I hate them almost as much as people who complain about how little sleep they got the night before. Notice there is a significant overlap between these categories.

I just can't feel sympathy for them. Oh no, you had to go to work 8 hours IN A ROW like every other normal functioning human being in the history of the world. Your life must be so hard, having to leave your bedroom 5 mornings a week and go earn money, sweet glorious money. How did you think the world would work? How are you surprised by this turn of events?

I am much more likely to feel sorry for people who don't have jobs and instead have to spend their time dicking around on photoshop and pretending their band will make it one day in order to feel relevant.

Now they have the right to complain. Not you - you whinging sack of shit. This is capitalism goddamn it. You will work until the day you die and you will hate every minute of it.

In other news, I had to work 16 hours straight yesterday and I barely got any sleep. Pity me.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

My dinner with a friend hurts

Titles are getting harder...swiftly moving into the relm of the nonsensical.

Had dinner with a friend tonight in the Valley. Struggled with arsenic coated throat and each bite of my veggie burger was pure agony. Good company though except it's weird with this friend because although she's one of my oldest friends and I love her to bits and see her every few weeks (and have done for 5 years), our relationship is pretty shallow.

You know when you were 6 and friendships were based on the fact that you and Kristen McGrath from the house across the road both liked raspberry licourice and Sailor Moon?
That's what this is like.

She also really liked (500) Days of Summer.

But she had a really cool ring.
So maybe it all comes out in the wash.

My throat hurts

Blah. My throat started hurting last night and is still hurting today. It feels like someone is varnishing my throat with arsenic every time I swallow. Matt won't kiss me for fear of catching it. Precious. And I fell asleep in a beanbag for several hours instead of doing anything productive.

What a stupid day.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

My theremin hurts

I have found something glorious thanks to Richard Kingsmill. He may be too old for Australia's national youth radio station, but he's ok by me (even if he did choose Dizzee Rascal as this week's feature artist).

This is win x 10000

My newspaper hurts

To make myself feel better I am going to go have lunch and another look at the wedding and babies section of the Sunday Mail. Apparently it is Fat Bride and Ugly Baby Sunday. Woot.

Then I might go and stalk some of the bigger wankers on facebook...Mr Matthew McDowell-Entertainer here I come.

Self-esteem rising...

My computer hurts

Sigh. sigh sigh sigh sigh.

I fucking hate computers.


Saturday, October 3, 2009

My everything hurts

My hangover hurts

It's weird that I get sooooo thirsty when I'm hungover because I don't drink much water on a normal day, and yet when hung over it doesn't matter how much aqua I consume my thirst is never quenched.

There is also someone pressing their thumb into the back right corner of my brain. Completely self inflicted wine induced headache. Oh alcohol you hurt me so much and yet I keep on crawling back.

Music at Rics has been so hit and miss all year. Have taken to going out on Friday because Saturday music is the same terrible 1960s stuff over and over and over again. If I have to hear Shake Your Tail Feather one.more.time....
Need a place where they play new music. Or at least stuff from this decade. Is that really too much to ask?

Crowd on Saturday's also full of hyperactive 19 year olds who are so impressed with their own indieness that they don't realise that everyone else hates them. Friday's have been better except last night there was a strange amount of over 30s. Upstairs. At Rics. Huh?
There was one couple who thought it appropriate to take up a quarter of the dancefloor ballroom dancing. To Phoenix!
They kept bumping in to us and I kept hoping they would jive their way into oncoming traffic. Tools.

Where have the cool people gone??

Friday, October 2, 2009

My eyes hurt

My eyes are tired and sore because I spent the rest of today Op Shopping and it really does take more out of you than normal shopping - sorting the 'ugly ugly' from the 'fashion ugly'.

Despite my sudden bout of lethargy I managed to buy some fun things.

These include: a gold insect brooch, two scarves that may have been part of an 1980s air-hostess outfit from some now-defunct airline (ie. rad!), a cushion and two pillow cases.

One of the pillow cases didn't fit. It was so small, I don't know what kind of dwarf pillow is supposed to go in it. I hung it over my curtain but I think it may look stupid. Will keep you updated on this whole ill-fitting pillow case saga.

I also bought a dress that was heinously ankle-length, hoping to cut it and create some appealing short floral number with tights montage. Well hoping Matt would be able to cut it as I don't really do scissors. Needless to say it didn't end well and most of the dress is now decorating my couch, except for a small bit that I'm currently wearing as a neck-scarf thingie.

It sucks when plans don't work out.

Also staring at the computer screen while typing this has made my eyes even sorer.
Nice one BLOG.

My finger hurts

Today Matt gave me my first lesson on bass guitar, which was well overdue since my contribution to Ticky-Tak currently consists of me sitting on the bed and judging what everyone else is doing.

Said lesson was fruitful but left me with an unfortunately chappy index finger on my left hand. Mmm, I know and it's pretty sore too. But you know these are the sacrifices you make as a professional musician. It's my art and I have to suffer for it.

And you have to hear about.

Everybody loses.