My body temperature hurts/is hot

IT IS VERY VERY HOT.

My soul is melting and everything is damp and/or firey. My car lacks both air conditioning and power steering so when I have to drive in the morning, it burns my finger prints off. I am now the perfect criminal. I have left a driving kaftan in car that I use to put over the wheel to save my dainty hand. What is the difference between a driving kaftan and a regular kaftan? Good question mmm.

I have tomorrow off for Laneway. GOOD NEWS. Wild Beats + The xx = better than most things.

The week has been blessedly short. On Saturday night I went to Clubhouse where I told the lead singer of Hungary Kids of Hungary that his band was "a cross between Arctic Monkeys and the Wiggles" and he dropped a glass of beer on my foot.  These two incidents were not related.

Have been enjoying the menstrual jokes surrounding Ipad. Periods are comic gold.

Right now my tummy hurts because I bought a tortillia stack that had been sitting in it's own filth/sauce for 8 hours. Terrible choice Maddy.

My Professional Awkwardness Hurts

So I'm in this really awkward stage at work. See I work the night shift (8pm-12am) so I don't see a lot of the daytime radio dwellers, which is fine because it's kind of fun to run around the corridors by myself. But the thing is I've been there pretty much full time since late October, so I really should know the name of at least some of my co-workers. I don't.

I know most of them by email only and there are so many men in their late 30s/early 40s that they all look the same. It's getting extremely awkward because I've moved office so I'm closer to other people, who keep walking past my office on their way home and saying "See ya Maddy" to which I say in my super bright and bubbly way "SEE YA *mumble mumble." I somehow figure that if I say the 'see ya' part really loud, they will be so taken aback they won't realise I have no frickin idea what their name is so have just mashed up a mixture of Pete/Andy/Michael.

Then today myself and my presenter (whose name I do know, thankfully) were talking to a guy for a good 10 minutes and after he left I asked presenter-man "who was that?" Turns out it was a techie I have been in weekly email contact with for the last 2 months.

A couple of minutes later and one of the Pete/Andy/Michaels who always says hi to me comes in and starts chatting away. Presenter-man does the right thing and says "Have you two been properly introduced?" and Pete/Andy/Michael says "Oh yeah, Maddy and I go way back." Oh no. So I laugh lamely and say "YEAH YEAH totally..." trying to compensate lack of name recognition with loudness.

But now I am in a bind because I have absolutely no idea who this guy is. I don't even know what his job is. I can't ask presenter man, I can't re-introduce myself. I am forever stuck in name-limbo with Pete/Andy/Michael. Bad news.

My Pineapple Hurts (update)

Pineapple Update - bought a dress from Retro Metro that has pineapple's on it. At least I think they're pineapples...they may be pumpkins. Looks a bit heinous but is cool on. Regard

pineapple or pumpkin?

My bleeding leg hurts

Ah. It's been awhile since I've done some honest-to-god whinging. But since it was the original purpose for this blog, I figure I should get on that.

Why is that no matter how careful I am when shaving my legs in the shower I always cut myself and it's always in the same place - right in the bony part of the shin just below the knee.

It's not like it hurts that much but holy crap it bleeds for hours! And it's so deceptive because when you're in the shower the blood is washed away so you don't know how bad it is. What a nasty surprise when you get out and have a pool of blood gathering at your ankle. So much blood for such a tiny hole in my leg. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

So I hold a tissue to it for ages and have a peak every now and then to see how the clotting process is going. I take the tissue away because it seems like it might be all good. A few minutes later I look down and the trickle has started again. So I have to walk around with a square of scabby bloody tissue stuck to my leg and that is COMPLETELY JAMMY and UNCOOL.

Anyone else have this problem or am I just a massive tardie?

PS. I was going to post a photo of said scabby tissue on leg, but realised that would be totally unnecessary and kinda gross, so count yourselves lucky.

My Pineapples are the New Owls Hurts

Here is a prediction for 2010...

Pineapples

are the new owls.

I'm so ok with that. Long live pineapples. If anyone sees any pineapple related paraphernalia, let me know.

My shop shop shop hurts

Meet my new limb.